Dating: What's the Point?

I do not agree with the assertion that dating is just "practice for divorce." I think quite the opposite, actually: if a person never dates, how will he or she know what is needed for a successful relationship or how to resolve conflicts with a loved one? Most of my friends who have been in relationships have benefited. They learn how to communicate better and they learn what they like in other people. If my sister had had an "anti-dater" mindset, she probably would not have given her husband a chance in the first place. At the same time, I don't think that dating and the hook-up culture should be placed on the same level. I do not think that random hook-ups are beneficial like dating is. Hooking up does not involve commitment and emotional attachment like dating usually does. Moreover, hooking up is one way for people to just be used, and it can deter the development of strong relationships, as hook-ups are void of substance. Overall, I think that the hook-up culture is damaging to relationships, but dating, for the most part, can be a useful tool to better know oneself and how to have good relationships.

Gender and dating relationships

I found this article very interesting. I don't usually think about the many stereotypes and expectations that play into a dating and engagement scenario. Even though I don't like to play into stereotypes, it's weird how they enter into my life anyway. For example, if/when I get engaged in the far future, I would want my boyfriend to propose to me, and I would want it to be a surprise. I can't imagine being the one to propose! So even though I try to stay away from stereotypes, some of them have just been culturally ingrained in me. Even my parents' story reflects these stereotypes: though they had discussed getting married at some point, the proposal was a surprise and my dad was the one to propose.

I definitely agree with the reader, however, in that the article did mainly focus on women's expectations and stereotypes of men. However, I think that in dating and marriage situations, men hold stereotypes too. For example, most men propose but expect the woman to plan most of the wedding. In addition, I think men have many post-marriage stereotypes: the women will do the cooking and cleaning and helping with homework. Moreover, sometimes men don't like it when their wives make more money than them, even though it truly doesn't matter who does.

Overall, I think it is interesting how many subtle stereotypes and expectations there are in aspects of dating, engagements, and marriage. Maybe in the future more women will do the proposing!

America the Beautiful

After watching Gerren's story, I definitely think that her experiences display the effect that the modeling industry can have on people's views of themselves. When she was 12 and just starting out, she felt pretty and was having a lot of fun. But once she was older and faced more rejection, Gerren's view of herself changed. She even said she thought she was ugly. I think that the modeling industry can be very damaging to a girl's self-esteem and self-worth. The modeling industry is really a business of telling people they're pretty and skinny. So if a girl never gets scouted or doesn't have success in modeling, she thinks that she is not pretty. I do not think that the standard of beauty should rest on the shoulders of people who pay others because they think they look pretty. We are all beautiful in some way or another, and it doesn't have to be our looks.

Being a young woman in today's society is difficult. It's hard to truly understand oneself when there are outside forces, including the fashion industry, feeding us other messages. I have a pretty good sense of self-understanding I think, but it took a long time for me to get there. Understanding yourself is more than looking in a mirror, despite what society tells you. I think that today's society does have a really negative effect on the confidence of myself and my peers, simply because society always has its focus on one thing. Right now I think the focus of society is on being thin, so I feel like everyone my age is always thinking about that. However, I wish society learned to be broader, since people as a whole are not one certain way, and people are what make up society.

Becoming Who I Am

I very much agree with Palmer that vocation is more about understanding who we are than what we should become or think we should become. When I was younger I used to associate "vocation" with what I would be when I grew up, because that was what I considered a calling. I used to think of vocations like "teacher," "police officer," or "doctor." While those are literal vocations, I definitely agree with Palmer that the truest vocation is self-discovery. I now understand that in order to find my more title-oriented or professional vocation, I must first fulfill the vocation of completely and totally figuring out who I am.

Over the past year or so, I have begun to think like Palmer. In this past year, I think I've done more soul searching and self-reflection than ever before. This has led me to become more relaxed and at peace. I know my priorities am very content with my life. In this period of self-discovery, I've tried to balance school with being social and spending time with my family. For many years I would get so caught up in getting perfect scores because perfect scores meant a great high school, and perfect scores in high school meant a great college, and a great college was the only way to a great future. However, now I realize that there is so much more to a successful life than grades. The key to a successful life is being who I am, surrounding myself with people who accept me for that, and achieving goals that I set for myself, not that society sets for me. Therefore, I wholeheartedly agree with Palmer that everyone's common vocation is finding who we are. If everyone could see that, I think that the world we live in would be much happier and more successful.

My Mission Statement

My mission in life is to be the happiest I can be, which I think lies in helping others. I want to live a life filled with positivity and always see a bright side to every situation. I want to foster strong, fulfilling relationships throughout my life so that I can always have support and be there to support others. In my life, I will maintain my quirky individuality and pursue what I love: studying languages, traveling, and being of service to others. Hopefully someday I will fulfill my dream of joining the Peace Corps. Moreover, I want to continue to be an open, welcoming person--more than just "tolerant" of others' differences. Whether something is a small goal, such as doing well on a quiz, or a large one, like getting a scholarship to college, I will give 110% because even if I fail, at least I tried. I hope that I leave a positive mark on the people whose lives I have the honor of entering in some way, and I hope that I only let people do the same to me. My ultimate goal in life is to be happy. I will do whatever it takes to have a life that is happy and successful according to my standards, not those of someone else.